I’ve been crying for the last three days. Joy tears, humble tears, awe tears. All the good kinds.
Every time it happens I laugh a little (I can’t help it) because this is what I get for being such a freaking robot all of my adult life. Every time I get in the car I tear-up like a grade-A sissy. When I drive, I think and when I think, my brain goes straight to the fact that I’m getting married in two days.
But guys–it’s not that in 48 hours I’ll be a wife–it’s recognition of everything that had to fall in to place for me and Trev to even happen.
I know for a fact I’ll be writing our stories down one day (because I daresay they’re gnarly and speak volumes of God’s goodness despite our lacking goodness) so I won’t dump a novel on you just yet. For now I’ll settle for a teaser trailer simply because I’m floored and I have to say something.
For starters, when Trev and I first met over two years ago, neither of us felt any attraction to or interest in one another–despite the fact that we were both single and we both loved Jesus. And at the time that was literally my only standard. Seriously. Up until last June, Trev was the ONLY single guy in my life that I never thought twice about. I have witnesses. He was the only one.
Secondly, two weeks before we “re-met” I blogged a letter to my future husband (read it here) which I kept on the DL. I had started praying in faith again, being thankful in advance for the man I knew God had for me. Whoever and wherever the heck he was. It was the first time I had adopted that attitude since I was 18.
It was also the first time I was truly content being single.
Thirdly, a specific prayer I had for my husband was that when the time came that we met, he would pursue the crap out of me–I mean in a really obvious way. I prayed that our relationship wouldn’t be something I stoked into existence, but the result of man with a fire under his butt and his sights set on running me down.
My mother has been praying for my husband since I was a single celled fetus. My grandmother has been praying for him since she and I first met.
Hear me. God answers.
He also listens–even to the dumb stuff.
Last spring I remember making some joke to my parents about how the single guys I knew were too young. “We all know I need date a 30 year old.”
11 days before we started dating, Trev celebrated his 30th birthday.
Come on now.
Not to mention the fact that my reproductive organs are a little ticking time bomb. Remember that 6-12 month fertility window we’re going to be working with? Had Trev and I not clicked when we did, dated when we did, fallen in love and confidently said yes when we did, we may have missed that window entirely.
Alright, alright. There’s gotta be at least a few of you out there thinking, “Calm down #ChristianGirl, it doesn’t mean anything. It’s just coincidence.” You could be totally right. I’m not calling it destiny.
But the problem is I’ve seen too much. Something beyond us set this thing up. It’s too intricate to be happenstance, too wild to be coincidence. And I’ll stand by that until I die.
Our wedding will be officiated by our friend Sean, whose wife has been a dear dear friend and mentor to me since I was 18. Needless to say, they’ve both seen me through a lot.
Even that blows my mind: knowing Kelsey–who has spoken so much truth and encouragement into my life amidst so many amazing and heartbreaking seasons–will be there to see the things she and I prayed for finally come to fruition. Holy crap.
Anyway, during our last premarital counseling session, Sean encouraged us to pray for all our friends and family who will be there to witness our union–that in joining us in this celebration they would experience something more.
So I thought about it for a while. And I got stuck on this:
My hope & prayer is that those who come along side us and witness our marriage on Saturday would walk away knowing that our union is hard evidence of God’s perfect and creative timing, His attentiveness to our needs, and His desire to meet those needs tenfold.
We. Are. Loved.
Beyond what we ever imagined.
“Father, out of Your honorable and glorious riches, strengthen Your people. Fill their souls with the power of Your Spirit so that through faith the Anointed One will reside in their hearts. May love be the rich soil where their lives take root. May it be the bedrock where their lives are founded so that together with all of Your people they will have the power to understand that the love of the Anointed is infinitely long, wide, high, and deep, surpassing everything anyone previously experienced. God, may Your fullness flood through their entire beings.
Now to the God who can do so many awe-inspiring things, immeasurable things, things greater than we ever could ask or imagine through the power at work in us, to Him be all glory in the church and in Jesus the Anointed from this generation to the next, forever and ever. Amen.”
Ephesians 3:16-21 (The Voice)