A record of particular & radical love.
My daughter is a miracle. Honestly though, if you think about the way cells split and grow and turn into an ENTIRE little human in just 9 months—while being completely housed inside of another human—really, all babies are nothing short of miraculous. But Stevie is our miracle and it blows my mind all the time... Continue Reading →
I’m in a season of grieving and I almost missed it. It took weeks of having a short fuse, crying at random baby things in movies and Instagram, and riding waves of worthlessness before I put the pieces together. I’m finally mourning my hysterectomy and resulting infertility. Nine months later. When I figured out what... Continue Reading →
If you’ve been to my house you know—I’ve got Star Wars things everywhere. Seriously—blankets, magazines, clothing, trinkets, baby toys. It’s all over my Instagram explore page too—and we all know that blasted thing doesn’t lie. So when I say I love Star Wars, I mean I love it. The saga has captivated me since I... Continue Reading →
This morning, fall pushed air into my lungs like it was some turtlenecked lifeguard come to save me. There was rain. There was thunder. There was lightning. And as my soul came back from its summer death, the weather seemed to loom over me shouting, “she’s alive….she’s aliiiiiiiiiiiive!” It was wonderful. I wore rain boots... Continue Reading →
I suppose this whole “restarting the blog” thing has been a long time coming. Now that I’ve opened the door, stuff keeps on coming out of me. It’s probably a good thing. *Insert joke about how counseling is probably a good thing too.* I’ll keep this one brief. Last night was a good night. Trev and I went on... Continue Reading →
Coming to you live from the well-established butt imprint on my couch. I'm wearing designer day-three hair, perfumed with coffee breath. I was supposed to "get ready for the day" an hour ago when I put Stevie down for her nap. But I was too tired. I was also supposed to come up with a... Continue Reading →
This has nothing to do with Eggo waffles and nosebleeds. This has everything to do with God being a world-class (galaxy-class?) showoff. You heard me. A showoff. If you follow along, you’ll remember we got some bad news in January. If this is your first time here, welcome! I don’t have any cookies for you,... Continue Reading →
Last Sunday was Opposite Day. Uptempo music, people dancing on stage, hands lifted, streamers falling in rainbow cascades from the ceiling. It was a celebration of celebrations. I watched it from the front row. Not participating but practicing my poker face. It was joy-loaded worship all around me and I was sneaking tears and clenching... Continue Reading →
It started in Cleveland. The demolition of my latest idea that I didn’t like being around people. Because they “didn’t get it.” And because I started to assume the rest of my social life would be an awkward dance of well-intended but terribly executed stabs at encouragement. You’re young. You have all the time in... Continue Reading →
The minute we crossed west over the California border I felt it. Dread. Exhaustion. Coming home from our trip meant coming home to decisions. What to do with the endometrial-looking cyst in my only ovary. What measures to take for fertility. And the question in my head: How much longer can I do this? New... Continue Reading →
