TENFOLD

I’ve been crying for the last three days. Joy tears, humble tears, awe tears. All the good kinds. Every time it happens I laugh a little (I can’t help it) because this is what I get for being such a freaking robot all of my adult life. Every time I get in the car I […]

Crash / Thank You

What a month. I went into a doctor appointment March 1st bound head to toe in nerves, fully anticipating bad news. The pain had come back, but this time on the left side (my “good side”) and therapy was no longer helping the scar tissue on the right. So my PT sent me back to my […]

To These Bones

When I was young I loved fishing out the craziest stories in the Bible—Moses parting the Red Sea, all of Revelation, etc. I guess you can say I’ve always been into Sci-Fi. (Except that this stuff isn’t fiction, which makes it one-thousand times more dope.) My favorite of all, though, was the Valley of Dry […]

.22

It’s been a rainy couple weeks. This is one of those that I’ll mostly keep under wraps. I’m not going to share it, but I’m not going to censor it either. Today is just as much a part of the story as any other day. And a real story isn’t real if we trim it […]

Math + Accordions

It’s been a long time. Like I noted in my last post, after September my body finally began to go through the throws of operating on only one ovary. My hormones took a steep nose-dive. I went from fine to apathetic and melancholy. It was tough. And it got tougher. I pretty much bottomed out. […]

Epi(c)logue

I’m sick of pretty. More and more lately I feel like our society is trading authenticity for aestheticism. Like we only share the things that pass a certain set of tests. Is it neutral? Is it clean? Is it current? Is it attractive? Will people like this? I’ve been guilty of it and it makes me nauseous. I […]

This Is It

This is weird for me. It’s all messed up. I don’t have my scribbled scraps of paper next to me. I don’t have a clear direction and I definitely don’t have a firm grasp on this idea. Probably because it’s way too big for me. So I’m going to tear through it and it’s going to […]

No. 4

If you’ve ever seen The Shining, you’ll have no problem imagining the scene in my head right now. If you haven’t, you might recognize it all the same: Jack Torrance, ax in hand, laughing and hacking at a bathroom door as his wife screams on the other side. Then his crazy eyes glinting through the […]

Throwing Punches

I don’t have a witty hook for this one. And I’m going to spoil the end: Jesus shows up. This is draft two because draft one wasn’t honest. Draft one was titled “Wonder Hunting” and it literally involved sunsets and indie pop and some completely irrelevant reference to my love for junky, old Volvos. It […]

Nice to Meet You

Dear _________: I confess I gave up on you a while ago. I want to start by saying sorry. The truth is, up until 5 minutes ago my mom has prayed for you far more than I have. She’s the one who taught me about being hopefully expectant. About being thankful in advance. And she’s […]